El Totumo (Mud Volcano)

The other day Bri and I went on a trip to El Totumo mud volcano which is a short bus ride away from the centre of Cartagena. When the word volcano was mentioned I immediately had visions of a huge crater spewing warm bubbling mud; what we encountered was very different, but nevertheless a lot of fun. A better way to describe the volcano would be a man-made (It doesn’t look very natural) mud filled giant termite mound. There’s a local lore that the volcano used to burp out fire and lava but a priest turned it into mud by sprinkling holy water into it to expel the devil, but I find this hard to believe. 

The experience began with us hobbling across a stony parking lot in a bikini and up some steps to reach the top of the volcano. You then descend some slimy steps into the mud pool and for 3000cop someone gives you a haphazard massage as you get coated head to foot in mud and overexcited by the fact you can float. The best thing about the mud is it’s so viscous that you can’t sink- or swim (apparently its 80m deep). Instead you have to be pushed around by other people like a puck on an air hockey board or clamber around my hanging onto the sides. The mud is meant to be good for your skin but was a bit unappetizing as there are bits of fabric, hair, skin floating around in it, leftovers from previous tourist’s visits. It’s really a bit grose and overpriced but also very fun.

The day doesn't end there. After about half an hour in the mud you clamber out of the ‘volcano’ and hobble down towards a river looking like a mud monster. At the river a flock of local women armed with buckets are ready and waiting to get you clean for 3000cop. This part of the trip is strange but great. As you sit shoulder deep in the river women come over and bathe you like a child, scrubbing you all over and rinsing you with a bucket and a firm grip. Without any warning they also proceed to take off your bikini so you end up sat naked in a river with a load of other tourists trying to avoid swallowing pints of river water. It's hard not to feel like a toddler getting forcibly bathed by your mother as you sit there in the nude with squinted eyes- spitting out water whilst trying to maintain some modesty.

Overall it was a really fun/slightly strange trip, you just have to go with an open mind and be ready to appreciate that the volcano is so disappointing it’s hilarious. Just be prepared to find mud wedged in your ears and bellybutton for the next few days.